My blog has a new home!!

I've found a new home for my blog and photos! I hope you'll pop over and take a look here Picsie Chick. The site is still in the building stages, with all of the same great pictures, and many new features to come. I'd love to know what you think of it. See you there! ~T~
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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Is there room for doubt in gratitude?

What a fabulous time this is!

Life. Communication. Friends. Opportunities.

Self-doubt.

Wait.

That doesn't fit. Doubt? Did I say that? A feeling of not being worthy. Yes, I guess I did.

It's kind of like gratitude. Except it's muddied by insecurity. How does it get in there? How is there even room for it?

Today, my dear friend @Sorrow11 ( sorrow11.wordpress.com/ ) tweeted this quote "I realize the deepest yearning of human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Og Mandino

And, oh yes, I hear that. I feel that.

And that's just it. It feels like my heart is filled, full with gratitude, wonder, amazement. This gift fills me up. The magic of light, shadow, colour, tone, hue, shape....captured by my camera's lens. And I spend some time most evenings, settling my heart down, taking time to write something inspiring, upbeat, as much to cheer you, as to give myself the gift of mindfulness, rejuvenation, grounding. And I'm even grateful for this gift.

I've met some amazing women bloggers recently. They inspire me, encourage me, make me feel appreciated. (there it is, again. Appreciation!) And today, talk of a get together with these fabulous ladies! And me, too! Imagine. Me!?! With them! Wow. I'm honoured. I'm grateful. I'm....

And then the insecurity seeps in. What if I can't afford to go to them? Is it fair to make them come here? Will they like me? Can I converse at the same level as they do? Can I possibly shine the way they do? Will we connect? Will they like it here? Is my home (my not-well-organized, not very tidy home) a suitable place to invite them to stay? Honestly, I don't know the answer. I have to let it go. Let the fear pass through me like a wind. Should the plan come together, I'll take the chance. I'll take each doubt, hold it to the light, turn it gently to see it from each angle, then alight it on a beautiful butterfly and watch as it gently flies far away. And I will remain. Present. Grateful. Part of the conversation.

Can it be true? It sounds magnificent!

tulip1106-2136

8 comments:

Fire Byrd said...

If we didn't have doubt or insecurity we'd never know the flip side for all it's wonder.
And of course these women will love you, what's not to love.
You are growing every day and blossoming like your beatuiful tulip.
xx

Picsie Chick said...

Oh, Ms. Byrd! It's true, these bits and bouts of insecurity lead to something far more divine, if we only have the patience and the openness of heart to see it.
Thank you for the reminder!
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

Monica said...

As Benjamin Franklin once said, "When in doubt, don't" (hugs)

Picsie Chick said...

Monica, I used to read this as "when in doubt, don't" do the thing you're doubting. Now I read it as "when in doubt, don't" doubt

Thank you for the hugs!

Right back at ya with hugs and butterflies,
~T~

Sorrow said...

I am going to email you, because.. Lol, I don't feel secure enough to leave them here.

Kelly Diels said...

my love, I invited you for a reason. Because we're kindred spirits and I WANT to spend time with you.
xoxo
Kelly

Picsie Chick said...

My dearest Sorrow. Your email was beautiful, as your soul is. My eyes filled, and my heart did, too. I hope the butterflies helped.!

Picsie Chick said...

Oh, Kelly! This felt like a great big, warm hug! Thank you!

We'll figure something out. I'll tell you about some of it in an email. :-)

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~