My friend is grieving. I hurt for her.
With her loss, the hurt of my own losses are remembered. Our bodies don't know the difference between remembered pain (or joy) and the real thing. As the shadows that linger on the lower edges of my heart growled into an ache at her news, I believe this. That often-ignored undercurrent of sadness filled my heart with a familiar wrenching, a longing emptiness. Would that I could take that pain away for her.
Alas, it is not mine to fix. Not my place to release her.
We are the sum of our stories, the whole of our experiences. Every nuance carries into the fibre of our being, the longing, aching moments along with the joyous, overflowing celebrations. Without them we would be less rich. Less real. Not fully ourselves.
It's easy for me to say this now. My losses are distant, years old, seldom pulled out of storage for a look. And yet, as I found today, they are still there, always present, ever a part of my soul.
For my friend, there is nothing but sadness right now. But she is wise. Mindful. Alive. She will see the beauty this moment leads to. She will feel the hurt for what it is, without drowning in it. Without losing herself to it. I know this of her.
And yes, I will still swim beside her, ready to catch her hand, should she reach out. Or only to be some company on this journey. Whatever she needs from me.
And soon, may Peace find her with her heart open to welcome her in.
~T~
shadow1110-2436
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Loss, remembered
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4 comments:
Lovely words. Your friend is lucky to have you walking beside her.
xx
Years back I was certain that if I expressed or revealed my own grief the tears would be so vast and so deep and so cumulative, that I would no longer remain afloat. So I kept it in. For a long time.
Eventually and in large part because of amazing friends (just like you clearly are to yours) I was able to grieve. And no one drowned. In fact, my tears were the water I most needed in that desert.
Beautiful words. Beautiful art. Beautiful heart.
Thank you.
Oh, Ms. Byrd. Thank you for yet another kind comment! In fact, I feel I am the lucky one to count her amongst my friends, and I am honoured to walk beside her.
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
Yes, tears. We hold them back for cultural reasons, but we need them. They enrich us, they wash us, they carry some of our sadness away on a flowing river. Never are tears the wrong thing for our souls.
Thank you for your sharing, and welcome to my blog, Ronna!
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
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